Not Lookin'

I’m just sittin’ in my bedroom fella with nothing on but time

Leafin’ through the pages of the stages in my life

Thinkin’ about the good times that rarely came in spite

All the efforts I have tried, all my efforts, all my life

Sun shinning brightly sir if only I could feel

The warm waves of the ocean but the drama seems so real

Every day’s just another day that’s testin’ who I am

Oh but man I’m exhausted and tonight it’s got to end

I’m not lookin’ for a new drug to put my mind at ease

I’m not lookin’ for a good book to teach me how to heal

I’m not loolin’ for the answers they leave me feeling teased

I’m not lookin’ for improvements sir, I just want to finally be

With the hours passing by, as another baby cries

With the singing of the birds, all the songs I’ve never heard

I just want to be free from the discontent and lack of peace

I just want to be with someone who can somehow share my dreams

(Music)

Still the night will come as it always does and I’m still asking why

Willing now to walk with you, for body I’m hypnotized

But I guess I must be patient and try to keep my faith

When I’m tested each obsessive night and every compulsive day

I’ll shut off the lights and pray tonight that one day the train will come

And take me to the place where I am free to laugh and run

Do I know I have the choice to ride that train today?

But the clouds roll in and the mind begins a new nightmare once again

Still I’m not lookin’ for a new drug to put my mind at ease

I’m not lookin’ for a good book to teach me how to heal

I’m not loolin’ for the answers they leave me feeling teased

I’m not lookin’ for improvements sir, I just want to finally be

I just want to be safe and living sir now in a place

That allows me to be happy and allows me to save face

With the people that I see, all the kids now in my dreams

As we run so joyfully, even dancing carelessly

And wake up in the morning and feel that I own it

Then walk out in the golden of the light that lets us all win

And not worry about improvin’ and not worry about a movin’

Just breathin’ in the seasons and with time I’ll be okay

With the hours passing by as another baby cries

With the singing of the birds, all the songs I’ve never heard

I just want to be free from the discontent and lack of peace

I just want to be with someone who can somehow comfort me

I just want to be with someone who can somehow set me free

5/29/05

Steve Flemming