I Don't Want To Lose Control

I Don’t Want to Lose Control

02/26/07

It’s so hard when you’re struggling to make sense of your life

And there is no one out there to say you’re doing fine

It’s so hard when the only clouded voices that you hear

Are telling you to give up and buy into your fears

Still you work it through every day, just trying to do your best

The times they are a changing and each moment is a test

But through it all you’ve questioned every step along the way

And now you’re even wondering what happened to brighter days

Now I don’t want to lose control

And I don’t want to lose my soul

And I don’t want to feel that way again

No I don’t want to be confused

And I don’t want to be abused

No I don’t want to be without a friend

Because the darkness is so scary when you see it as the truth

And the coldness is so chilling when you don’t know what to do

Oh the blindness of a true love is something you only dream

For the blindness you are sensing is a far more tragic scene

You feel you are falling down an endless mammoth hill

You try to reach for branches but your attempts are losing still

You don’t know where to get off or how long you will fall

And all you’ve got is suffering to guide you through it all

(Music)

But you’re sensing a little anger, a little hatred and some rage

You even think the hill is really only made up fate

Still as you fall you hear a call of something from inside

It’s telling you to slow down and follow a different guide

This time you stop to reach out for another broken branch

This time you see the value taken this fall into your hands

You dig so deep with your feet as the rocks turn into sand

And than before your very eyes you stop and take a stand

For I don’t want to lose control

And I don’t want to lose my soul

And I don’t want to feel that way again

No I don’t want to be confused

And I don’t want to be abused

No I don’t want to be without a friend

For The Birds Still Sing

4/29/07

It seems like a distant dream, so many years you know I’ve been

Looking for an answer to soothe my soul

I thought I found it in my games, one-night stands and travelling

Romantic songs that made me feel so sweet

Thinking of girls that I once had, and memories of friends and Dad

How could all of those good times fade away?

Sunshine and pale moonlight, walking home on a star filled night

Dreaming of a future so full and bright

Was it the booze I can’t say, or the simple tricks we used to play

All I know is I’m here alone again

A weekend trip with the boys, or a cute little lover from a girl of choice

Writing love songs used to mean everything to me

Now life is made up of chores and bills, oh my Mom would say you’d get it still

When I was young and had better things on my mind

Thinking of the world today, wondering what is our fate

And asking if my life means a God damn thing

Than I’m reminded by all the greats, it’s not about winning or feeling shame

The source is found, as I love my tears away

No more asking what went wrong, no more complaining of a life that’s gone

No more praying for a little girl to rescue me

Cause in the midst of one mans soul, faith and time will hit a cross road

Am I going to let my life bring me down again?

I’m not young anymore, but I’m not old if I can hear the call

It’s telling me to go out and be a friend

Find someone and lend a hand, share some love and understand

It’s giving that will redeem me in the end

Smile each time a child walks by, give them hope of a finer time

When people embrace this Earth all hand in hand

Now I’m not saying to obey my words, but I’m not going to give in to hurt

I know now what it means to be a man

Gonna take a stand and live while I can, so what if life still has a few bends

For the birds still sing every morning the best they can

Cause in the midst of one mans soul, faith and time will hit a cross road

Am I going to let my life bring me down again?

I’m not young anymore, but I’m not old if I can hear the call

It’s telling me to go out and be a friend

Now I’m not saying to obey my words, but I’m not going to give in to hurt

I know now what it means to be a man

Gonna take a stand and live while I can, so what if life still has a few bends

For the birds still sing every morning the best they can

Young Man

1/11/07

Oh young man what you doing?

Are you hurting inside again?

Or are ya’ going out for pleasure

When you swore you found the end

Oh young man what you thinking?

Did you really think you could win?

Did you think you had the answers?

All stored inside your head

Oh young man what you feeling?

Are you lonely without a friend?

Did you walk away from true love’s grace?

Did your pride come out again?

Oh young man share a moment

Even though I’m just the wind

Cause I’d like to have a word with you

I won’t tell them where you went

For we’ve all been down that road before

Good times and money well spent

Yet still we find in the morning shine

Are lives are still so bent

I’m sure you want to be a hero

Or at least somebody’s man

Oh I’m sure you wish your fantasies

Could come to life here once again

I know it can seem so difficult

At times when you’re feeling down

But trust me when I tell you son

One day you will come around

So young man share a moment

Even though I’m just the wind

Cause I’d like to have a word with you

I won’t tell them where you went

(Music)

So can you stop and hear the notes between

Your thoughts and your fear

Can you stop and see the actions

You have caused without a tear

Can you stop and sense the life you’ve led

And the patterns that you dwell

Can you stop and embrace the wonder?

Of this world you knew so well

Oh can you stop and feel your peace?

The only thing you ever found

His Life

05/29/07

He’s a man of 32, living life through and through

Just doing the best that he can

He works hard every day, leaves time for a little play

Still somethings in his way, at the end of his day

For his mind plays tricks on him, like the Riddler to Bat Man

While he swears he will bring it to an end

But another day comes and goes, as the journey ebbs and flows

Still there’s something in his soul that’s not his friend

You see he’s always dreamt big things, like peace and harmony

Like a life by the sea, sailing in the wind

He even works a job that honours his good heart

And he knows there’s a calling just for him

Yet when it’s time for bed, and the hour is way pass ten

He feels something swirling like the dead

It comes to haunt him so, for reasons we don’t know

But the sign post on the road says look ahead

And his mind plays tricks on him, like the Riddler to Bat Man

While he swears he will bring it to an end

But another day comes and goes, as the journey ebbs and flows

Still there’s something in his soul that’s not his friend

You can see him down the street, in the sweet summer heat

Watching as a pretty girl walks on by

For a moment he’s in love, with this beauty from up above

But all he ever does is wonder why

Cause he’s never really tasted joy of a girl and a loving boy

Lost in the pleasures of their time

And he’s never had a chance, to feel true romance

But he’s starting to think he should try

For his mind plays tricks on him, like the Riddler to Bat Man

While he swears he will bring it to an end

But another day comes and goes, as the journey ebbs and flows

Still there’s something in his soul that’s not his friend

All his life he’s been so proud of proving he’ll come around

Once he figures it all out, he’ll tell you what life’s about

And all his life he’s cracked some codes that some other won’t care to know

But the code he never cracked still fill’s him with such doubt

Now a choice must be made, the price will be paid

Live a life or simply live alone?

Being strong, being brave, being all them things

Revealing the finest dream he knows

Of sharing a life, with a pretty girl as his wife

When she says I love you so just the same

Even though you’re not Superman, and the Riddler still ruins plans

You’re a man who has lived and conquered shame

So hold me tight in your arms, especially when it’s dark

And let your heart feel again

Or run away as you do, with your books and theories too

But don’t you cry the blues when the Riddler comes instead

So hold me tight in your arms, especially when it’s dark

And let your heart feel again

Or run away as you do, with your books and theories too

But don’t you cry the blues when your dreams come to an end

So don’t you cry the blues when your life comes to an end

Wild and Free

08/04/07

Oh you know what I mean when I mention the scene of a man and his hopes to be free

From the thoughts in his mind that do it all the time that trick him with them cleaver simple schemes

In the night time alone, with no voices but his own, it is tempting to give in to fear

So he might have drink and fill up the sink and forget what he thinks with a beer

One day he’ll do okay think his demons have gone away but it’s then they come back again

Oh it’s sad to realize that this man’s been hypnotized like so many good people of this land

Oh it’s sad to realize that this man’s been hypnotized like so many good people of this land

Now sitting in an old subway looking down or looking away from the tears that well so deep inside

In the girl on the city train still finding her only way and praying that one day she’ll be alright

People passing and walking by with stories and those little lies, their minds are filled with so much pain

And even if they wish to say they’re happy so much today, I wonder if tomorrow they’ll feel the same

The fleeting of our happiness just trying to be our best and never accepting who we are

Listening to the radio just telling us more things to own and wondering why things have got so hard

Oh I red in a magazine or was it just a silly dream that the truth is so deep within our souls

Was it found on a neon sign or the winds of these crazy times, perhaps it is found in rock n’ roll

Time waits for no one friends and all good things must surely end but bad things will soon pass as well

So what can we really say but take the time to breathe today, let wisdom come to replace hell

Clarity and peace of mind, enjoyment of this sacred time, acceptance of what we choose to be

Heaven is a simple place, arriving when we make a change to let inner love be our dream

So let inner love be our dream

(Music)

Now I heard the echoes of my mind while something shifted deep inside,

I knew forgiveness would be won

You see being scared and being sad, being angry or righteous friend, all of this I knew could be gone

And what was left there I can’t say, it’s a mystery to me every day but God how I thank you for this

Because you gave me now something real, greater then a happy pill, you gave me my hope to feel a kiss

I know it won’t happen fast but that’s okay I’m on a path and I’ll stop to enjoy every scene

The flowers in the spring time and the stars shining best they can; the sounds of nature wild and free

Oh the flowers in the spring time and the stars shinning best they can; the sounds of nature wild and free

Oh the sounds of nature wild and free

When You Go

02/01/08

Do I love you, do I hate you, I really do not know

I’m aching in my heart and in my toes

Do I feel the love inside the chambers of my mind?

Do I sense what is right when I am low?

And do I know the truth, oh Lord what can I do?

I’m aching in my mind and in my soul

So tell me what is this could it be your tender bliss?

But do I feel your love when you go?

When you go, how I hurt so deep inside

When you go, my life just isn’t right

When you go I am scared of being half aware

Of the truth that guides me when you go

Can I see the light, that’s shinning bright tonight?

Can I see the signs oh tell me please?

For when I’m lost inside, with no place left to hide

Do you come to me softly in my sleep?

Now the stars out tonight makes a child feel all right

For he knows in his woes he is fine

But sometimes he feels a chill that runs deeper then his will

And the pain that he feels turns into fright

Oh the pain that he feels turns into fright

For when you go, how I hurt so deep inside

When you go, my life just isn’t right

When you go I am scared of being half aware

Of the truth that guides me, when you go

Oh when you go, how I hurt so deep inside

When you go, my life just isn’t right

When you go I am scared of being half aware

Of the truth that guides me, when you go

Greater Truth

04/26/08

You ask me to write down words, express now all my hurt

Writing to myself, expressing all the doubt

You say I’m not at ease, I sense the truth you see

If only I could be, walking proud and walking free

For you have no time it seems for a man with broken dreams

But I’ll respect now what you say, for I know there’ll come a day

When the sun will shine my way, and I will get to play

Like I did those yesterdays, how I wish I’d be more brave

But the truth is there in me when I trust in how I breathe

There’s no fear to get involved, no anger there at all

Just a man whose living life, loving all the signs

From the maps that show me how, oh girl I’ll come around

For I know it’s in my grasp, having had the final laugh

Just look and you will find the self that is divine

Shining bright and shining true, no longer just a fool

How I’ve been so very cruel, now it’s time to shade these blues

Gonna get up off my ass, live my life here while it lasts

Feel the wind now in my hair, and enjoy now every stare

As I am more aware

With a body being bare

Filled with passion, filled with spice

Feeling very nice

A lover’s recipe of a life now wild and free

How I know that I can be, all the man I long to be

What I mean what I say, that life is here today

And I will past the test, and kick it in the ass

No more worries holding back, no more pity from the past

Just a soul who’s free to laugh oh my time will be a blast

Cause God it’s there in me, I know now what I see

Can’t you feel the burning heat from the passions that I speak?

Gonna love now someone true, gonna know just what to do

When the time comes I’ll be brave and girl you’ll wish to say

That the truth is there in me when I trust in how I breathe

There’s no fear to get involved, no anger there at all

Just a man whose living life, loving all the signs

From the maps that show me how, oh girl I’ll come around

For I know it’s in my grasp, having had the final laugh

Just look and you will find the self that is divine

Shining bright and shining true, no longer just a fool

And live my greater truth; oh I know just what I’ll do

Gonna get up off my ass, live my life here while it lasts

Feel the wind now in my hair, and enjoy now every stare

As I am more aware

With a body being bare

Filled with passion, filled with spice

Feeling very nice

A lover’s recipe of a life now wild and free

How I know that I can be, all the man I long to be

Steve Flemming